A Rikervp version.. written by me of course..
The clock was ticking,
‘Twas the night before Christmas
The clock was ticking,
But I just couldn’t sleep.
I tried counting backwards,
I tried counting forwards,
I tried counting sheep
I couldn’t stop thinking about all that meat.
The leftovers kept beckoning me from the night before
The dark meat, the white meat, and so much more,
Thoughts of feasting till there was no end in sight
My stomach was burning and turning as my eyes watered and filled with delight,
But I fought the temptations with all of my might.
Eventually losing which began my plight.
Tossing and turning with frustration and of anticipation,
The thought of a snack became my damned infatuation!
So, I got up out of my bed and started my retreat.
Without a second thought and a quickening pace,
I raced to the kitchen, to satisfy my hungry face.
I flung the door open , looking for more
and I gazed into the fridge full of goodies, goodies galore.
There was so much food stuffed here and there,
It was all the fridge could hold and possibly bare.
I gobbled up turkey, peas and mashed potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
I dare not trip over and howl like a hound,
Waking the cat who’s sleeping so sound.
Then an ill from a chill and all of a sudden,
I felt like a glutton, then the feeling of the earth beneath me starts shaking
Then the parting of the ground, there was something going on and in the making.
At that moment although I didn’t know it,
I crashed through the floor through to the ceiling below it,
It was all in a blur how fast it could go.
I fell on my ass with such a thump,
I awoke the neighbours below with thunderous bump,
Laying quite still for awhile there on the floor below,
Broken like a hideous lump and painfully sore.
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie,
A face full with whipped cream and a huge ass bruise on my thigh,
I struggled and managed to cry, so quietly whispering
Have you any biscuits to go with my sore ass, pudding and pie.
As the paramedics arrived quick on the scene,
No one was laughing and they didn’t look mean.
I looked up at the help that stood there before,
I must have looked like a 2 dollar whore.
All in all it was dreadful night,
I looked out of place and looked like a sight.
They picked me up without any fight.
I gave them my thanks and returned to my place,
Feeling disgusted at my nasty plight,
To that I have decided to diet much to my wife’s joyful delight.
The kids are all now sleeping nestled back in their beds,
Hopefully with good dreams filling their heads,
Christmas trees, lights and candy canes galore, all the things about Christmas that I just adore.
I hope to look up into the sky to watch Santa soar across this moonlit night,
Calling out on the horizon yelling seasons greetings to anyone in sight.
And to that I add and I wish to say.. to you and to everyone have a safe Christmas’s Eve,
And to all a good night. !
Merry Christmas everyone !
Riley, Candace & Cheyenne
Riker Video Productie & Fotografie
In memory of my friend Jack Fens. Merry Christmas.